Friday, April 22, 2016

The Value of Diversity

Diversity. 

It's a buzz word. Well, at least it has seemed that way for the past nine years of my life, and I've definitely bought into it, so much so that I think I tend to annoy some people.

I believe that communities are stronger when they are diverse, and I'm sure people get sick of me talking about a lack of diversity. They are tired of hearing me talk about racism in the United States (and throughout the globe), and how it is a result of generations being raised without diversity. Several individuals are tired of hearing me say that I think it's wrong for a school to charge extra for students who need a Learning Specialist or ELL support, because I believe the presence of those students adds value to a learning community. I think my students are tired of me talking about how important the diversity of their experiences is and how a exposure to diversity of opinions makes  them better (and more employable) people. One student shook her head like I was crazy when I said I needed her diverse view of God in order to learn something new about the character of my Lord. I'm sure I have many other annoying talking points to do with diversity.

To be honest though, this is one time when I don't really care if I'm annoying. Today as I sat in a seminar on supporting students with disabilities in education (from both a parent and educator viewpoint) I was reminded of this. How could schools be better, strengthened, more holistic if we had space for the children with Autism, Downs Syndrome, physical handicaps, and every other sort of learning challenge? How could they better reflect the Kingdom of God? 

How has my family been strengthened and come to better reflect Christ in us through the diverse voices of the women my brothers have chosen to marry? How has my life been enriched and my opinions shifted from living cross-culturally? How has my faith been deepened through the faith life of someone from a different theological point of view? How has my world been transformed with each language I have learned? There are too many ways to count.

How has your life been transformed by diversity? What is the Christian mandate for diversity? 

"It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and strength." Maya Angelou

Sunday, February 14, 2016

John 14 (Fear, Love, & Abiding Peace)

Fear. 

It cripples. 
It steals joy. 
It devastates lives. 

For a long time I've been fascinated by fear, I think because I'm naturally a fearful person. It's not that I want to be fearful, and a lot of people would tell me I'm brave, but the truth is that fear is something I keep coming back to. People tell me I'm not fearful because I moved across the world on my own, I travel on my own, I try new things, etc etc. What they don't know is that I do those things not because of a lack of fear, but either out of necessity or as a way to rebel against the fear that threatens to cripple me. 

I talk about fear a lot, and how as Christians we are called to live in a spirit of love and not of fear. Our God is one of love and not of fear. Fear makes us suspicious or hateful of those who are not like us. Love makes us relish differences and savour the opportunity to have our world broadened by another person created in the image of God. Fear keeps us from enjoying the adventure of life. Love makes us jump into adventure with both feet. That's the way I see it in my mind, but it's not the way my emotions always go. 

Love seems harder than fear, but the rewards of love are huge and eternal. In John 14 Jesus talks about love for and from the Father. Our love for the Father calls us to follow his commands (which are basically to love him and others) and the Father's love for us allows us to be in relationship with him and to find a home with him (John 14:23). At a time in my life where I am transitioning from one "home" to another, the promise of a home with God is a pretty great prospect. 

Verse 27 is the most well-know verse in this passage, and the one that most relates to fear. In fact, it commands me not to fear. It doesn't matter how many times I read this verse, this passage, I am reminded of the love of Jesus and one of the greatest gifts he gives. Peace. Jesus had peace, and he gives us that peace. That peace is a result of love from and for the Father, and it's something we are given as a gift when we love the Father. 

It's not the peace of the world. The peace of a good job, health, wealth, fun, leisure, etc. It is a deep and abiding peace that flows out of love. It is a peace that allows us to live because our hearts are not troubled and we are not crippled by fear. It's a peace that says that troubles of the world may come, but God's love is enduring and we have an eternal home in and with him. It is a peace that allows me to shake my fears of failure, isolation, pain, and apathy. 

Jesus offers us the peace that frees us from fear and comes first from being loved by God and then by loving God and others. I want this peace. I want this freedom. 

Love, not fear, leads to peace. 

Friday, February 12, 2016

For my last Chinese New Year vacation I spent a week in Japan visiting friends and family, experiencing a new culture, and exploring new and beautiful places. I don't think this trip could have gone any better, even if I had actually taken the time to plan things ahead of time :) I got to see everyone I was hoping to and enjoyed Tokyo and Nagano prefectures, as well as the train ride between. I could write pages and pages about my trip, but instead I'll just make a list of things I loved experiencing on my trip to Japan (though not everything on it is exclusive to Japan).

I loved...

Seeing family, friends, and friends who are like family.

 
 

Great public transportation
Walking
City parks
Sushi making class

Making new friends
Tatami mats
Onsens
Skiing
Fuji apple juice
Snow covered anything (mountains, trees, houses, cars, etc.)


Snow and Onsen loving monkeys


Laughter
History
Japanese language
Soba Tea (and other grain teas)
Mt. Fuji
Australian Accents
Soba
Okonomiyaki

Udon
Sweet potatoes
Chicken wings
Tempura
Ramen
Ice cream with sesame seeds
Nepali cuisine
Miso soup
Real wasabi
Antiques
Architecture


Japanese worship songs
Exploring new places
Convenience stores
Breathtaking views
Ski lifts


Matsumoto Castle


Snow falling on me
Watching a blizzard
Dogs
Children laughing
Selfies and We-fies
Sake


Japanese gardens
Matcha
Rivers and lakes
The God who created it all

Basically, if you ever have a chance to go to Japan, do it. I recommend going to visit friends or family, that's always the best way to see a place. If not, make sure you invest in a good guide for at least some of the time. I highly recommend Daniel Moore as a guide. You can see his guiding business, Travel Nagano, on Facebook. Also, leave time and flexibility in your schedule to make last minute plans. I would love to return to this beautiful country and see more of it someday. Nagano prefecture is definitely one of the best places I can think of anyone wanting to live!!

Monday, August 24, 2015

1 Month or 70 years

Today is a pretty special day in the Stoker family for a couple of wonderful reasons. It's a day to remember two amazing women becoming part of the Stoker clan! One is the matriarch and the other is the newest Stoker, but both of them are loved and cherished and make us who we are. If you don't like sappy and scattered, now's your chance to stop reading.

Sooo here's a happy monthiversary (special thanks to Amanda and Zachary Heath who coined that phrase in my life) and anniversary blog :)

Happy 1st Monthiversary to Brian and Jen Stoker!!!!




It's hard to believe that it's been a whole month since they said "I Do." One month may be a relatively short amount of time, but I believe in celebrating the little things, so today I'm celebrating their life together. Their wedding day was full of anticipation, praising God, celebrating, having a good time, and recognizing their love. It was a special day, the kind of special day that makes me think about forever love, which is fitting since one month after their wedding day we are celebrating a very special anniversary in the Stoker family.


Happy 70th Anniversary to Ray and Kath Stoker!!!!!!!!!!!!





SEVENTY! That's a big number. I seriously can't imagine being alive for that many years, let alone married, but my grandparents have reached that marker in their married life. Brian and Jen have a good legacy of love in their lives (on both sides, not just the paternal side).

When I was thinking about something to do to celebrate my grandparents' big day I started searching for news on each of their decade anniversaries. That's when it hit me- 70 years is a really long time! My grandparents got married 10 days after the end of WWII- talk about a way to celebrate!! On August 25, 1945, while Nana and Granddad were saying "I Do," hundreds of children around England were being reunited with their parents for the first time in four years. I'd say that's a pretty special day to start your new family. I learned all sorts of other history in my search for significance on their decade anniversaries, and I was reminded yet again of how much they have lived through, how much anyone in their 90s has lived through.



When I was talking about my grandparents' seventieth anniversary the other day one of my students said, "How do you stay married to someone for 70 years? I can't imagine that." Quite frankly, I can't either (being as I'm single and in my 20s and all that) but her question has really made me think. How does one stay married for 70 years? In a world where it seems like more marriages fall apart than stay together, I'm so thankful to have so many people in my life to model marriage commitment. My grandparents on both sides fall into that category. When I think about Nana & Granddad and how they've made it work all these years it gives me hope. They lived through war, they moved across continents several times, they made career changes, they survived life-threatening health challenges, they watched their kids grow up and raise their own kids and now are watching (or have watched) their grandchildren raise their great-grandchildren, they have seen each other grown old and wrinkled, they have CHANGED through the years, and yet they are still together and I would say they are very much in love.

Love is watching my Granddad take my Nana's hand to make sure she doesn't fall, love is making my Nana take her pills every day, love is moving across the globe from family and friends to start a new life together, love is laughing when things get too difficult to do anything else, love is Nana cooking for her family when she never really liked cooking and Granddad taking over cooking when Nana can't anymore, love is sharing chocolate, love is picking out gifts for each other that you know the other person will love (or you know will annoy the other person, and that's just as fun), love is sometimes going on vacations that you don't want to because your spouse does, love is raising children together as a team, love is moving to the other bedroom so you don't wake up your spouse when you can't sleep, love is so very many things that I have learned from my grandparents.

So how do you stay together for seventy years? That's a question only my grandparents can answer, but if I had to guess based on what I've witnessed in them I would say you make choices every day- you choose to compromise, to laugh, to be selfless, and to stick it out no matter what. I'm so glad that Ray & Kath Stoker made that commitment on August 25, 1945. Nobody could have guessed where that commitment would take them. I'm so glad that 69 years and 11 months later Brian & Jen Stoker made that same commitment, and I look forward to seeing where that takes them in the next 69 years.

Monday, September 8, 2014

What Is Enough?

I've been reading this book called More or Less: Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity by Jeff Shinabarger. At the beginning of the year my boss brought five books to the dorm staff and gave us each the chance to pick which one we wanted to read, and this is the book I chose. From the moment he read us the title I wanted this book. Alex Aguas, my pastor and friend in the US, has often talked about having a theology of excess rather than one of scarcity, so I was hopeful that this book would take me on a deep theological journey into this concept. That is not what this book did. 

Shinabarger starts his book with this simple question: what is enough? Throughout the book he continually challenges the reader to ask that question of themselves. He talks about how being really and truly friends with a homeless man changed his life. It messed him up. It made him think differently about his possessions and showed him his excess. He still has excess, but he and his wife are on a journey to excessive generosity and I want to join them.

I don't actually agree with all of his points in this book. I wish it was a bit deeper theologically. I think he believes a bit too much in giving hand outs to those with less possessions, rather than in linking hands and walking with them (though he does that too!). I believe in reaching hands across and not down or up, but I also think he is doing more good with his actions than I am with my inactive ideas. I am challenged by this book. 

If you have read my last few posts or know me, then you know I've been thinking a lot about injustice lately. I believe that excess is unjust. I am comfortable in my excess- I am rich. But I don't want to be comfortable with my excess. I want it to sit uncomfortably and I want to be excessively generous. I don't want to be irresponsible. God has gifted me with a job where I have excess, and I believe that I should be saving for a day when I can no longer work. I believe in living within my means. Maybe some day I will not make enough to do this, but for now I have the opportunity to give financially rather than the necessity to receive. I also don't want to be irresponsible in the way that I am generous. Anything I give to or any way I show generosity needs to be ethical and well-informed. I do not want to perpetuate injustice on this earth. 

One way that Jeff challenges his readers and friends is to conduct experiments about excess. It's been hard for me to think of an experiment to conduct. It should be something that puts me in solidarity with people who have less excess than I do, something that educates me, something that educates me, something that changes the way I think about my own excess and generosity. 

It's been difficult for me to settle on something, but I think I finally have and I want to make it public so that I'm accountable and others can join me if they want to. 

So my experiment is this: I will not eat any sort of meat for 40 days. Meat is an example of my excess of food. Meat is not a bad thing, but I want to be in solidarity with those who cannot afford it. At the same time I will commit to using the meat currently in my house to feed others generously. I will also research more about the issue of hunger, and will find a way to be excessively generous with the money I save by not eating meat for 40 days. I commit to completing this experiment, even when it is uncomfortable or I have to awkwardly explain it to others. I will take those opportunities to explain my experiment to others without expectation or judgment of them. 

My experiment will last until October 18. Join me if you would like, or maybe just ask me about my journey along the way. My prayer is that God would use this experience to change my paradigm of excess and help me to live with excessive generosity. 

Beth out.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Happy 58 Dad!

It took me less than twenty minutes to come up with 58 attributes or actions of my dad that make me love him and be so thankful for him, and there are many more that I thought of after! Happy 58th Birthday to the man who raised me, continues to make me a better person, believes in me, and loves me unconditionally! 


My dad:


Loves sports and taught me to as well

Has a Passion for good theology

Loves Jesus

Loves to learn

Loves to help others think

Plays games with me

Taught me to love to play tennis

Taught me frugality

Fostered closeness in our family

Cries with me


Talks with me

Laughs until he is red in the face and crying 

Challenges me

Believes in me no matter what

Is proud of me always

Takes time for me

Likes to be with me

Loves music and taught me to as well

Sings with me

Models sacrificial love of God


Is a Peacemaker

Makes Sunday breakfast often

Does my taxes

Doesn't think I'm toooo crazy

Loves my mom 

Listens to my opinion

Makes coffee every morning

Works hard

Is the most integrity filled person I know

Is passionate about his students


Overflows with joy jumping in a lake

Exhibits Childlike happiness when body surfing

Is Exuberant when playing croquet

Always wants to play bridge

Is Lifelong learner

Loves to pour into others

Is Willing to try new things

Is Resilient

Rocks a mustache

Plays the piano in the morning


Wants to know how I'm doing

Is Patient

Is not sexist (no 'boy' or 'girl' only activities growing up!)

Makes me think deeper

Pushes me to do things that are good for me

Picks out good earrings and other gifts

Embraces all of his cultural experiences and homes

Is Slow to judge others

Doesn't let anger overpower reason

Sacrificed monetarily for my education


Always makes an effort to visit us kids

Gets excited about a great milkshake

Raised my brothers to be thoughtful, kind, and sensitive men

Forgives me when I act poorly

Taught me how to throw a football

Plays soccer like a much younger man

Is quite brilliant with numbers

Quite simply excels at being the exact dad that God knew I needed



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Proverbs 31- Who Knew!

I consider myself to be fairly biblically literate, meaning that I know my Bible stories pretty well and have some good tools for interpreting Scripture, but today I learned something new. Which, for the record, is normal. Despite spending four years studying the Bible in college as a Biblical Studies major, and spending a whole lifetime reading the Bible, I learn something new each time I open these holy scriptures. Sometimes I like what I hear, sometimes I'm deeply convicted by what I hear, and sometimes I stumble across something that resonates deeply with who I am and the journey I am on. Today was all three. Now, I know I've read this passage before (because I have some of it underlined), but I really didn't remember it, which is sad because I feel like this passage is one of those ones that we should all live our lives by. 

I know, whether male or female, you probably grimaced when you saw that the title of my post was Proverbs 31. You said, "We've heard that one before. A wife of noble character. Blah blah blah." Okay, maybe you didn't say that, but those words tend to be my reaction. For the record, I think it's because speakers and readers often do a poor job of exegeting (look it up) this particular passage, not because the passage is lacking in divine truth. It isn't. The result of poor exegesis is often a trite, highly culturized, and normally demeaning-to-women reading of this passage, one in which we forget to read it in light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But it's your lucky day, I'm NOT going to worry about that passage because it is not what struck me!

Did you know that Proverbs 31 is not all about said wife of noble character? I had forgotten. The first nine verses are wise words for a king (now being a wife I can't relate to, but a king? Absolutely!). Okay I'm kidding about relating to being a king, but these nine verses are gems. Let me share:

"The sayings of King Lemuel- an oracle his mother taught him: 'O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel- not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.'

51 years ago today Martin Luther King Jr. gave his 'I Have A Dream' speech, and today throughout the world this dream has not truly been fulfilled. I am by no means an expert on this topic, but I realize that King's speech addressed a very unique culture with a specific broken system full of racial prejudice and injustice. The issues of race in the United States are not the same injustices that cover the whole globe, they are unique because of the history of a country built on the backs of enslaved people, poverty stricken immigrant populations, cruelty toward the people who were there before the Europeans, and also a lot of hard work by a lot of people. I could spend a long time talking about how unique the United States is in regards to injustices, but the fact is that injustice happens everywhere and so King's speech is pertinent across the world. On every corner of this globe there are people being discriminated against and who are powerless or trying their very best to just simply survive, but not quite making it. Everywhere I go there will be people who cannot speak for themselves, are destitute, are poor, and are needy. They will look different in every place, but they will be present. At some point I could fall into that category as a woman in a foreign country, but I have resources and social capital that will most likely keep me among the richest in the world. 

That is a burden. It is a burden I do not want to bear. I don't want to be white, from a wealthy family, with a wealth of cultural knowledge, a fairly stable family, a good education, and a plethora of other items in my "she's got it good" column. But the fact is that I am all of these things, and truly, on a day to day basis, I'm thankful for them. I realize that it is a privilege. But this word 'privilege' sticks with me. I am privileged. And here in Proverbs 31 a boy turned man is quoting the wisdom of his mother to him, a privileged person. It is my responsibility as a privileged person to remember the law of God so that I can speak on behalf of those who cannot. So that I can draw attention to the needs of those who have less than is fair. 

So here I am, trying to figure out what this means. Frankly I would like my friend Alex to preach a great sermon on this passage so that I can understand all (or at least more) of the nuances of what the author is saying here. I think this is an ultimate piece of wisdom from Scripture. I think this passage, and specifically that one verse I put in bold, are at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Christ. I'm just not sure exactly what that looks like for me. While I try to figure it out I will continue to do what God has called me to day by day. I will speak for the teenagers I minister to who can't speak for themselves. I will proclaim the needs of the world to anyone who will listen, especially the injustices that God has laid heavily on my heart. I will give generously to others who are on the front lines with those who are not as privileged as I am. I will continue to step on toes as I try (and fail) to figure out how to live the way God calls each of us to live. 

How will you live out Jesus' call to help the widows, orphans, and the needy that is summed up here in Proverbs centuries before He came to earth as a baby?