Possibilities

Lately my mind has been racing in about twenty different directions. Let's see if I can name them all for you:

Work (x3- One for each job),
Class,
Family (x6- One for each member of my immediate family and one for each side of extended family), Exercise,
Missionary Kids Ministries,
Church,
Future career paths (x4- One for each significantly different possibility),
Youth,
Friends,
Music,
Oh and maybe thinking about things of a spiritual nature (that's not a big deal though, right?).

There, I think I reached my twenty, and I could list a whole bunch more.

Still, my mind racing in a million (that's more accurate than twenty probably) different directions is nothing to be upset about. Sure, I'm torn between a lot of different commitments, people, and places, but they are all good things. What becomes difficult is when I get frustrated at not knowing what is coming next. The truth is that I don't know what is next. There are so many things I'm interested in doing and places I want to go that it seems impossible to commit to any one of them. Each possibility has too many pros and cons to make a list and just compare them side by side.

The truth is that I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to find out where I am going to go, what my job will be, who I will marry (Lord-willing!), who I will be in community with, and who God will change me to be. I know that God can change the world through me. I don't have huge dreams or aspirations to change the WHOLE world, but I know that I can change the world around me. I can change my world and that of those people closest to me. What's important is staying grounded. Developing a routine and sticking to it. Setting goals for myself and attaining them. Reaching my hand out to the world (and the people in it) around me and treating them with grace, patience, humility, and respect. That's something I can focus on for now. Not that dreaming is bad. Dreaming is good, but it's important not to get stuck in worrying about or over-planning the future.

Proverbs 19 says "Many are the plans a person makes, but the purpose of the Lord prevails." So here I am. I will plan, because that is inevitable. But I will rest in the grace of God knowing that his purpose for me will prevail in the end. What a comforting thought!

Another New Beginning

Today is the day before I "officially" begin graduate school. That's kind of funny to say being as I am already 1/3 of the way done with the program, but it's true and somehow it feels different. Starting tomorrow I will be in classes only with other students pursuing their Masters in TESOL, and I am both excited and scared at the same time. I am excited to be in a learning environment where everyone truly wants to learn because they are seeking to be a better teacher and not just a degree. I am scared that I am not ready for it, that I will realize just how young and naive I am, that my lack of teaching experience will be a barrier, that I will not have friends in the program, or (perhaps worst of all) that I will somehow manage to complete this program and realize that I do not in fact want to teach English! But all fears aside, I really am excited. I know I am going to learn so much, and no matter where God takes me in this world what I learn in these classes will be useful. I can't wait to see where God continues to lead me because sitting where I am today I know each and every moment leading up to this prepared me for today, and the future will not be any different. Every class I take, every paper I write, every person I encounter, everything prepares me to be the person God needs me to be each day. In the middle of everything else that is definitely a comfort!

Today is also a day of new beginnings because I have begun my new job. Starting this week I am working 9 hours a week in my church office as the receptionist. This will be a chance to get to know members of Village Covenant Church better, serve my community here, get some homework done, and anything else Pastor Matt assigns for me to do. I'm excited about this opportunity as it was a complete answer to prayer. For a couple of years now I have said I would like to do a job like this and, without ever saying anything to Pastor Matt, he out of the blue offered me this job. On top of working at church I am also continuing in the Cafeteria and with Christians in the Workplace. Overall it should be a busy but rewarding semester!!

Sometimes I am not sure where this road I'm on is taking me, but I'm excited to find out! I hope you can see the hand of God in your life just as I can in mine!