What does Lent mean to you? Growing up I don't really think it meant anything to me. Maybe that is because my parents didn't make a deal about it, but maybe they did and I just don't remember. All I know is that I don't remember thinking about Lent at all until I got to college. At APU I experienced Ash Wednesday for the first time (consciously). Really, my time in college is when I became aware of the Church calendar and what a beautiful thing it is.
So every year, for the past five years, I have in some way recognized the season of Lent and allowed it to slowly transform my life. Still, every year I struggle with the idea of what it means to fast for Lent. In my circle of friends it normally means giving up chocolate or coffee for 40 days. One person I know gave up makeup. This year my pastor and his wife are giving up TV after 8 pm (a pretty big commitment considering that's when all of the best shows are on!). Another popular thing to give up is Facebook.
So this year I decided to give up watching new TV series online. Let me explain. This year I am in grad school, not working very much, and I have more time than I've ever had before. I have gotten into this terribly bad habit of watching TV shows online (normally on Netflix). I'll watch every season of a show in about a month (depending on the number of seasons). It's pretty bad. I get hooked. I want to know what's going to happen next, and since they are shows that have aired in the past I have that luxury! It's easy to get hooked on new shows, and since a large number of my closest friends graduated and left me in the dust last May I have a whole lot of down time. Now, I could be spending that time making new friends, investing in the friends I have here, reading good books, practicing guitar or flute, exercising, doing my homework, or any number of other activities. But I don't. I choose to spend my time secluded on my computer with my headphones in, living vicariously through other people. Some of the shows are good. Others are trash. That's not really the point. The point is that I'm watching other (fake) people live their (fake) lives rather than living my own life! I'm not even watching shows with other people and at least getting some semblance of community through that, instead I'm all alone. So that's my confession. I have a problem. My name is Elizabeth Stoker and I am a Netflix addict! Sooo in the spirit of Lent I decided to get rid of my obsession. That doesn't mean I'm not watching TV anymore. I still watch plenty of TV with my roommates, but only if it is on the TV. I think it's a pretty good thing to fast from for Lent, and maybe I'll continue it after Easter as well!
Still, while this 'fast' is a good thing to get me in greater relationship with Christ and those around me, I am not sure that it really gets at the heart of what a Lenten fast could truly be. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a step in the right direction. I think it's a good thing. I think God is pleased that I want to spend more time with him. I also think he wants more. So I googled Lent passages. I honestly didn't know if there were any. I'm still not sure that there are specific passages on Lent, but one passage did pop up on Google: Isaiah chapter 58.
I'm sure I've read this chapter before, but I'm not sure that I've READ it before. Did you know it talks all about fasting? In fact, the NIV titles this chapter "True Fasting." If that's not a chapter to read for Lent, I don't know what is! So I read it. And I was challenged. I was a little bit intimidated. I still am. Some of the things in this chapter I don't think I could ever do- or at least I didn't at first. How can I provide the poor wanderer with shelter? How can I fight injustice or set the oppressed free? What does it mean to not turn away from my own flesh and blood (family, is what it means I think)? What does it mean to DELIGHT in the Sabbath? How can I keep from doing as I please or speaking idle words?
To be honest, I'm not sure. But I do know that I can do some of these things and at the very least I can struggle to figure out what they mean. Isn't that what Lent is all about after all? Struggling with what our Lord's sacrifice means to us? Finding a way to say thank you? Preparing ourselves to once again really grasp the grace of God? You know, often people talk how how they are going to go on a 'fast.' This passage makes me think that fasting is not a one time deal, but rather a lifestyle. Not that occasional fasts from food or other things aren't valuable. Those types of fast focus me in a very unique way, and often I have found God reveals his character and will to me in those times. But this chapter challenges me to a much broader understanding of fasting than simply giving something up or taking on a new practice. It challenges me to a lifestyle more similar to that of Christ, and it gives me very practical ways I can do this.
I'm not saying my life has been transformed over night. Those who know me best (or live with me) know that I am NOT a very nice person a lot of the time. I'm a grouch. I'm selfish. I have a very small capacity to love. But those who know me best also know that this is not how I want to be. I want to love with Christ's love. I want to be transformed. But how much do I want it? Isaiah 58 has really got me thinking. Read it. See for yourself. It might just change how you view Lent and life in general!
