The Return of the Prodigal Son

Recently I've been reading this book recommended to me by my little brother Keith (he's pretty great): The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.

If I'm being honest, the beginning of it didn't rock my world too much. He talks about how many people who at first associate themselves with the younger son in the passage later realize that they are actually the elder son. Thankfully, I have had some pretty amazing people in my life who pointed this out to me a long time ago, and in fact I guess I am one of those people who really relates more to the elder son than the younger.

Nouwen goes on to point out how even though the elder son never left home he was just as lost as the prodigal. In a sense both sons are prodigals. This concept of the elder son being just as lost as the younger really clicked with me. See, I've never left my Father's house. I believed when I was young, I went to a Christian college and got a Bible degree, I never stopped going to church or praying, I never stopped reading my Bible, I mean basically I've never left. The truth of the matter is though that throughout most of college I was just as lost as someone who the world (or perhaps the Church) sees as lost. I didn't do drugs, party all the time, flunk out of school, sleep around, deny God's existence, or any of that stuff, but while remaining in God's house my relationship with him deteriorated. I got to the point where I couldn't really even say I had a relationship anymore. As I'm on this journey back to faith I take very seriously the idea of relationship and connect with this story more than ever.

Still none of this is what really stands out to me in Nouwen's book. Nouwen pointed out something that for me was radical: each of us is in some way either the younger or elder son but every one of us is called to be the Father. I am called to be the Father. You are called to be the Father. What that means is that each of us is called to be the one waiting with welcoming arms for that lost son or the one beckoning the elder son to come inside and join the party. None of us will ever reach the point of becoming the Father, but that is the journey we are called to take.

I guess that's kind of vague right? "Just become the Father." The truth is that I think there are a whole lot of practical steps to take toward doing that. Here are a couple I have been thinking about:

1) Spend time with the Father. If I spend time with someone I start to act like them. So I've been trying to spend time reading the Word, worshipping through singing and playing my guitar, praying, journaling, and just being in His presence.

2) Practice being the Father. Now I'm definitely not a saint, but there are tangible ways to do this. The one I have been working on is volunteering. I volunteer with an after school program once a week. It's not a lot, just a couple of hours a week, but it is a chance to pour into the lives of children who need it. A lot of them come from tough situations, and even if they wouldn't be labeled that way- well kids can always use some extra love. Just hanging out with these kids, helping them with their homework, learning their personalities, and caring about them has blessed my soul and I pray that it is a step toward me becoming the Father.

Often my faith is shaky, but a friend and I were recently talking about how sometimes you just have to practice your faith and then the faith itself comes. I think that's an important step in becoming like the Father. So this is me being honest: I am lost though I have never left home. I am on a journey toward turning into my Father (and also my mom and dad... it seems every day I see more and more how I am becoming like them in various ways whether I like it or not:). This is a crazy life, and I'm figuring it out one second at a time.

If you have the time I highly recommend picking up your own copy of The Return of the Prodigal Son, it may not rock your world but it definitely couldn't hurt.

Assessment

Assessment. What does that word mean to you? Does it mean judging? Is it just a grade in a class? Is it how you see where you are at in life? Honestly, until this quarter that word meant very little to me. I had never really thought about assessing myself or anyone else until I started taking "Second Language Assessment" for my TESOL degree with Rich Robison. But since taking this class it seems that assessment is always on my mind.

Every time I interact with a test or think back on the tests I have taken over the years I assess them- I assess the assessment! I know I'm a complete nerd for liking this class, but I really do enjoy it. Learning about how to write tests and alternative forms of assessment has given me a new perspective on my past experiences as a student and on who I want to be as a teacher. There are some tests I look back on with the uttermost respect for my teachers. These were people who truly cared about my education and my growing as a human being. There are other tests that did not teach me or my professors anything. I have a large amount of anger (and pity) for teachers like this who didn't care enough about their students' learning to take the time to write and grade good tests.

I want to be a good teacher. I want to write good tests. I want to use other alternative assessment techniques that not only help my students learn more but also help me learn how to be a better teacher and give my students what they need. Assessment is nothing to take lightly, but then again neither is teaching. Think back at the people of influence in your life. Maybe you're not a nerd like me so they aren't your former school teachers, but chances are if someone influenced your life it's because they taught you something and more than likely they assessed you in some way. So here's a shout out to all of the amazing teachers in my life. You have shaped who I am, and I pray that someday I will have students who can say the same about me!

As for the other type of assessment (aka personal assessment), that is a whole different story. How do we assess ourselves physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and in any other way? I don't think there is any easy way to do personal self-assessment, but it is important. I think journaling is one way to do this and if that is the case I have been doing a lot of self-assessment lately. Who am I as a student, friend, roommate, sister, daughter, co-worker, employee, or acquaintance. When I sit back and assess myself I cannot say that I am where I want to be. My assessments show me that I still have a lot to learn and that I have not passed the course yet. However, they also show me where I need to grow and where I struggle the most. Assessments are painful (after all, who likes taking a test?) but they are necessary for our growth. So at this season of my life I am learning to take the time for self-assessment and to pay attention to where I need to grow. A few of my findings (only a small portion of them): patience, humility, grace, service, and peace.

I pray that each of you will take the time today and throughout your lives for self-assessment. It is more valuable than I ever could have thought. Oh, and don't forget to go back and thank a teacher today. I'm sure there is one who could use the encouragement!