It's strange. I've been back from Cameroun for three years, and yet I still never get used to the changing of seasons. Here in California it's more subtle than most of the United States, but still the weather changes from sunny to cloudy and from hot to cold (or at least cool). There are things I like about this change. I like the green that covers the hills because of the rain, the opportunity for a fire in the fireplace, Christmas lights being hung around the house, Thanksgiving in Yosemite, and even a break from the incredible summer heat. And yet there are things that drive me crazy. The fact that I shiver when I go to bed, I can't sit outside to read in the sunshine or do my exercises in the yard, the leaves and mud that get tracked into the house, the fact that it gets dark so early and all I want to do is sleep, the way my nose and feet are always cold... well you get the picture. It seems silly, but I don't think I ever realized until this year that I grew up in perpetual summer. Going to the beach could be done any day of the year, and even during rainy season there's no need for a second "winter" wardrobe. It's simpler that way. I know why people like the changing of seasons, and I appreciate the fact that people don't want to see the sun in November. But I do. I miss the sun, and it's only been gone for two days. Call me wimpy, whiny, crazy, whatever you want, but that's the way it is. I guess, as my worship professor likes to point out, I was "culturally conditioned" to like the sun and heat.
The weather is not the only changing of seasons though, and it's a scary thing. This month all of us seniors graduating in May have turned in our "intent to graduate" forms. So now that I'm intending to graduate what do I do with that? There's a to-do list hanging over all of our heads. Graduate school applications, job searches, weddings of close friends to attend, goodbyes to be made. I think the goodbyes are the hardest. I'm planning on staying here in Azusa for my Masters program, so in a way it seems like not much will change. If I'm lucky I might get a different job, but otherwise I'll probably be in the same house and even have at least one of the same roommates. Many of my young friends will still be here finishing up their undergraduate work, but there is a large group of friends that will be gone. These people whom I have known for four years (whether I have gotten to spend much or little time with them in this span of years) will be moving on. A chapter of our lives is through, and it's time to say not goodbye but fair well.
As I was at Bible study this week we were studying Ecclesiastes 7, and what stood out to me was the part that says "the end is better than the beginning." At first I could not imagine how this could ever be true. Goodbyes are awful. The end means death. But as I thought about it and we reflected as a group I saw it to be true. Graduation day will be by far better than orientation day. We will be celebrating something we have accomplished with a group of people whom we love dearly, not awkwardly saying goodbye to parents and meeting new people who we had no idea would turn into our best friends. Another person in the group described how the end of her grandparents' relationship is far better than the beginning. The love and care that she sees between them now could not have been there when they began their lives together. Now that they are older and more broken they have to take care of each other in a new way that requires a better love than that which was there at the beginning. I've seen this in my grandparents as well. When I see my dad's parents interact, I see my Granddad caring for my Nana and I think to myself "Now that's true love." What I never thought before was "Wow, the end is better than the beginning!" But I'm beginning to see that it's true. Sure, some ends we still don't like, but more often than not the end is filled with people and memories that make it far better than the beginning.
So here's to me learning to love the changing of seasons. And here's to you, knowing that you've probably made at least one of my endings better than a beginning. And here's to us, knowing that the end will come in whatever season of life we're in right now but that it will probably be much better than the beginning was.
