Friendship as Mosaic

"True friendship doesn't demand that you be like me. True friendship asks only that you be who you are and I be who I am, and as we interact and get to know each other, that we honor and respect each other as human beings, complete in our imperfections before God." Mark D. Siljander

Have I posted about this quote before? I'm really not sure, but even if I have here it is again. It's funny I read A Deadly Misunderstanding about three years ago, and I'm not saying I endorse everything that Mark has to say, but this quote really got me thinking and hasn't stopped since. See deep down we're all prideful people, and it seems that no matter how hard I try to mend my ways I am convinced that MY way is the RIGHT way. I want my friends to be like me. I want to have the same interests, values, and opinions. But the more I think about it the less I think this is how it should be. That doesn't mean it's easy to change, but it does mean that there is a beauty worth searching for in being in relationship with people who are different from me.

The past month has been an interesting experience for me. Back in December I was living my normal post-grad life, comfortable at my job, church, and with my roommates. Then I went "home" for Christmas break and spent time with my family, whom I love but who maybe knows a different version of me. Next I came back to where I live now and since a friend from high school was getting married I had a bunch of other high school friends staying with me. Finally, I had some friends from college come to visit this past week. As I watched my worlds collide and said my goodbyes once again I couldn't help but think: What is it that makes all of these very different people so special to me? How is it that each of them, complete in all of their imperfections and cultural peculiarities, is such an integral part of me in all of my imperfections and cultural peculiarities? I'm pretty sure I haven't found the answer to this question, but I'm also sure that this quote has some bearing on it.

The relationships in my life that are the most meaningful are not necessarily the ones with people who think or act like me. Differences in values, religion, and hobbies make the people around me a beautiful mosaic that in my opinion reflects the image of God. This mosaic is at its best when I do not try to change the people around me but rather choose to respect them, be myself when I am with them, and maybe, just maybe even learn from them!

My friend who got married last week is about as white as you can get. He married a beautiful young latina who has a passion for her people and their culture. Both of them share a passion for social justice and their faith. At their reception someone called them an "interracial dynamic duo." We all laughed at this overly dramatic representation of them, but the truth is that the person who labeled them as this is right. This new marriage is strong and beautiful because it is a representation of the Kingdom and Spirit of God. These two people have chosen to accept one another and respect their differences while at the same time allowing themselves to be shaped by the other. I can't think of anything more in line with the diversity of our Creator.

So here I am at the beginning of a new year just having witnessed the collision of just about every sphere of my life musing about what relationships are and who I want to be in relation to other people. I'm far from there, but I hope that each day will bring me one step closer to being a true friend, honoring my fellow human beings and embracing all of mine and their imperfections before God.